Waiting to be Wanted

I had been in this place for a long time, so long that I learned to be ok with not being happy. Complacent, if you will, with the undetermined length of time that I would be spending floating in a haze of unsurety.  Definitely, I was aware that greener pastures existed, I was even aware of my free will to leave, yet I was stuck.

I guess there were perks, but I’d fallen into a lazy routine of this is my life right now.  At times I overflowed with ideas, only nothing was really getting done, because stagnation in one area of your life can inevitably spread like a growing infestation of mold throughout other areas of your life.  Can mold even be an infestation?  Nevertheless, there I was complacently being lazy while growing stagnated mold. (yes, I know)

You see, I prayed for peace a few years ago, and God answered my call in a very big way.  He arranged peace in the middle of torrential downpours with lightning strikes and thunder roars that shook the earth.  I held on to that peace with dear life and in my surety of Him, I fell asleep.  I would crack my eyes open with the occasional wave of disturbance, but for the most part I sailed on uncontrollable winds in peace.

But how many of you know, there is still work to do during the thunderstorm.  God gives us peace, joy, and the strength to withstand whatever comes our way, not so we can sleep, but so that we can continue on fulfilling His point and purpose.

Which brings me to my point……. I am awake now.

The waves of disturbance were alarms, nudges, and the sign that it was time to get up and DO SOMETHING!  The last wave had a voice, and I  awakened with a vision that promoted a hope to abandon ship! Finding that this rocky ship stranded out in stormy waters is nearing land, I can smell the freshness of the flowers from the shore. And of course the grass IS greener because there IS NO grass on rocky ships that are stranded in stormy waters!! There is another ship that’s outside the realm of the storm and its closer to land, but it’s kind of stretch to try to reach.

Knowing that it’s time to take a leap of faith can cause enough anxiety to cause the physical ramifications of a huge zit to grow on the side of your face!  Excitement, anxiety, being unsure and the slippery slope of fear that can sometimes creep in is enough stress to cause the zit to explode, leaving pain and a scar from doubt!  But you have to take the leap, so you say a prayer, step into faith, and then you jump!

Then comes the wait………Waiting to be wanted. Will the captain of this ship accept me onboard? It’s like being in a room full of clocks that causes every passing second to sound off, echoing the fact that you still don’t know the outcome of your decision.  Being awake and aware, seeing the vision, finding the hope to step out on faith requires patience and peace that promotes extended faith.  It’s not enough to step out on faith so that you can jump, your faith must remain throughout the journey.  The leap is just the beginning. You must define your faith, what is it that you are believing?  With seeing the outcome, the path is not always clear but your faith will guide you. God’s light will illuminate your steps, if your faith allows you to believe.

So, I jumped.  While gliding, I see myself landing on the ship that’s on its way to a promised land.  But if I slip and land in the waters or the captain refuses my presence onboard his vessel, I know God’s grace will lead me to the shore.  I do not have to wait to be wanted, His promises reign true and I belong to Him.

My inspiration:  “Oceans” lyrics by Hillsong United


You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep

My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand

Will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

Oh, Jesus, you’re my God!

I will call upon Your name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours and You are mine

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